I've heard the nasty things some people have said about other women and I knew the calloused hearts and worldview most of our culture has towards the unborn. When Connor was born, another military wife I didn't know very well had announced on FB that she lost her baby, and then my FRIEND said "That's what she gets" for announcing it too soon. I didnt want to type how she actually ended that sentence. I had never experienced that loss yet, so my only response was- I've announced all my babies early. Why wouldnt you?
Today I am friends with that mother who lost that baby, and I havent talked to the other girl in close to 3 years.
I'm currently 27/28 weeks pregnant with Baby4, but I call him BabyBoy3 on Facebook bc I don't want people to judge me. I think about how Ailin would have been born February 4th and we'd have a sweet baby here with us already! Instead of having to be hot and pregnant all summer while my husband is deployed. People make comments about how we still need to have a baby girl. I dont get offended by those comment. I've made them myself. But now, I do not have that feeling. I believe Ailin could have been my girl. Even if he wasn't. This baby was meant to be, created by the same God who created me, the same God who created my wonderful husband and the same God who blessed us with the family we have to hold today,
But I stuff these feelings and thoughts farther down. I try to not bring it up. I dont even really mention it to my husband. I'm supposed to be over it. I have another baby coming soon, who survived pregnancy so far. I should "count my blessings" and move on.
Except I'm not. 1 year and 2 weeks ago I found out I was carrying my third child, God gave me a third blessing. It's incredibly except that our third baby doesnt get to be home with us. I'm excited to meet my new son, but it definitely does not replace Baby#3.
I hope other women come across this blog, and realize they are not alone. They may be grieving privately bc they tell themselves the people in their world need them to move on, get over it, see what's next.
There is comfort. I know that comfort.
Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God. For as we share abundantly in Christ's sufferings, so through Christ we share abundantly in comfort too.2 Corinthians 1:3-4
This was from our silly, failed photo shoot. :)
June 2013 announcing Ailin
June 2013 announcing Ailin
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