saying sorry

I have been lovingly corrected pretty much my whole life, but especially in the last handful of year for saying "Sorry" when people feel that I shouldn't say sorry or shouldn't feel sorry. I know this correction is out of love and out of a desire for me to be more sure of myself.
When  I was growing up, I never felt very "liked" (not because they didn't like me, they say they do. I just didn't feel that way.) I'm extremely different from my Louisiana, redneck family. I've always been more sensitive, more girlie, more picky, less country than they would prefer. I just knew not to expect anyone to go out of the way for me. I mean sometimes they felt that they were going out of their way for me, but well I saw it differently. I was also raised to never invite yourself over to someone else's home. Never to ask for certain things. I'm not trying to be disrespectful to my family. Just explaining that the environment you grow up as a small child affects the way your brain and personality develop.
I'm a natural people pleaser. Whether I particularly like you or not, if you need help I'll probably be there in some way or another. If you need something that  I can't give I will help you seek it. For strangers, for acquaintances that haven't given me a second thought- I'll make the calls, I'll sit here for an hour writing to you encouraging words. NOT because I'm so perfect and giving. But because I have an idol in my life. I need approval, I need attention, I need love and acceptance. Even though Christ died and proved his love for me, even though he accepted my punishment and set me free from the debt I owed (my life and eternal death) because of my sin. Even though he loves and accepts me perfectly. I am still struggling with this.
I admit I have this idol, and I'm certainly longing to grow stronger and more diligent in "submissively" being "ready" for God to tear apart my idols and set himself in the proper seat in my heart.
--I needed that tangent on idols to clarify that I don't condone my own behavior.--
Anyways, when I say sorry. I sincerely mean it. In a way maybe some of you can't see.
If I asked you to help me find help- I'm taking your time. I know that none of us moms have that much time on our hands. So I am so grateful and I am really sorry that I'm thinking that my need for help is worth taking your time. I understand if it's not because of whatever is going on in your life.
If I say sorry because I want to change our plans, or do something a little different bc of the timeline, the kids, or whatever. I am sorry. I assume that like me, you had an idea or plan of how things would go. Now I'm asking you to change your plan.
If the situation isn't playing out like I hoped and the kids are being wild. I feel anxious and flustered. Things could go one of two ways. One- you are trying to help me control my kids or whatever. Two- you are trying to talk to me, and I want to give you my full attention and I just can't. Both of those are just not always fun, and so again I feel sorry.
If something in your house breaks, your car, something goes wrong, you get hurt, the kids are sick- when life is less than enjoyable... Gosh, I'm  SO sorry. I wish things were going better for you.

I think it's part of my extreme empathetic personality.

I'm so imperfect and so cluttered. My mind is cluttered lately. I can't remember half of what I've told people I'd do. I've been too dehydrated from working out to use my new love for wine to clear away some clutter and give me that "sound mind" that I believe I get from a glass of wine ! haha
I just wanted to say it on here as clear as I could. If I ever say "I'm sorry" instead of saying "stop saying sorry" (because then I feel embarrassed. haha.) maybe ask why I am saying sorry. Maybe I can explain the chain of thoughts that lead me to truly feeling sorry about whatever the situation is.

P.S. I say "thank you" just as much as I say "I'm sorry", I mean it just as much.

Love, B

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Update: A really wise, loving friend I made at church saw this and gave me some great questions to ponder about what I believe about God, myself, and my friends...
:)